Allen Matthews vs. Al Bundy
While Al Bundy is arguably the funniest contestant from this group of finalists, his fatherhood is bordering on horrendous. Allen Matthews cruises in his first round
Carl Winslow vs. Frank Lambert
Despite his bouts of psychotic rage when Urkel was in the vicinity, Carl was a good father. He was there for a serious talk whenever his kids needed them, and was pleased to give advice. Frank didn't have the ability to have as many heart to hearts with his kids. He can't be faulted for this though, he had like 30 kids. He was simply spread too thin to be a good Dad to all of them. Do you remember all of the kids names in Step by Step? Neither did Frank. Carl gets the edge.
Earl Sinclair vs. Tim Taylor
Tim certainly has some faults as a father, but Earl is a dinosaur. Tim gets the win.
Danny Tanner vs. Uncle Phil
Danny got the short end of the stick in this draw. Uncle Phil is a daunting opponent, both physically and mentally. Besides Earl, there's no other father you'd want in your corner if you wandered into a dangerous pool hall. Danny should've been in the semi finals, he simply drew one of the best there was. Uncle Phil takes it.
Allen Matthews vs. Carl Winslow
Both of these fathers came from a life of hard work and perseverance. They did what they had to do for the well-being of their families, Carl being a police officer, Allen being a grocer turned entrepreneur. The scales begin to tip in Allen's favour when your start to see some gaping holes in Carl's track record. He had an unhealthy thirst for more money, often taking advantage of an unsuspecting Urkel to make a quick buck. His explosive rage is also too much to overlook. While it wasn't directed at his family, it was too far too much for a police officer. Sure, Urkel is a bit annoying, but think about your career, Carl. Laura needs to pay a Harvard tuition. Without even mentioning Allen's qualities, we simply can't ignore the biggest concern in all of TGIF television; WHAT HAPPENED TO JUDY?! Is she dead? We have to assume she died, because she disappeared and there was never any mention of her again. I don't want to assume, but a police officer would be able to make that kind of problem go away. Sorry, Carl. It's just too risky to put you through when there's even the slightest possibility of murder.
Tim Taylor vs. Uncle Phil
Tim was a good father. He's funny, he is always encouraging of having fun and trying new things, but he's an extremely dangerous person to be around. On many occasions he electrocuted himself, he regularly fell off the roof, and while doing all of this he would often have his kids helping him. Just flat out irresponsible. He was more preoccupied with his Christmas lighting display than his son returning from Costa Rica, he handled Brad's choice of haircut poorly, and he let Mark enter a world of goth. Mark clearly needed more guidance throughout his middle school years. Otherwise he was encouraging, had a pretty even temperament, and was creative. He would be able to help you if your car broke down, and could do a semi decent job helping you fix things, but there was the off chance that he might set it on fire. However, his high risk life makes him a huge candidate for an early death, and you can't be a good father when you're not alive. Uncle Phil moves into the finals.
Allen Matthews vs. Uncle Phil
Uncle Phil jumps out to an early lead by adopting a trouble-making nephew from West Philadelphia when he already had three kids. He can be faulted for how Hilary turned out, but Ashley and Carlton are upstanding citizens and certainly would've been successful. He turned Will into a promising young man, and had possibly the most emotional scene in any sitcom when Will's deadbeat Dad left him not once, but twice. We can all say without embarrassment that we shed a tear during that hug.
Uncle Phil also does very well for himself, living in Bel Air and having plenty of money to support his family. He taught plenty of life lessons, was always ready to guide his children, and exercised tough love when he needed to.
While Allen didn't adopt any inner city youth, he did raise three kids of his own. Similarly to Uncle Phil, he raised two great kids and one more that turned out arguably dumber than Hilary. His Dad talks were the stuff of legend, and was never too proud to seek out guidance himself, often approaching Mr. Feeny, the wisest of them all. He was prepared to put his foot down any time he needed to, and wasn't afraid to teach his kids a tough lesson if the situation called for it. He was level headed, could shoot hoops, and had lots of life experience.
Uncle Phil was an amazing Dad, but Allen Matthews had the whole package. Uncle Phil's anger and short fuse were his Achilles heel. He could go from mild mannered judge to volcanic rage monster in a matter of seconds, and for these reasons, Allen Matthews is the winner.