THE DRAW
***In the interest of making this the least creepy tournament possible, all of these pictures are from when these celebrities are a bit older (specifically you, Winnie Cooper). Even though we were kids when they were kids, it’s still super weird.
QUARTERFINALS
Winnie Cooper vs. Dionne Davenport
Winnie Cooper may have been the original 90’s heartthrob, and Dionne was a mid-90’s knockout, but the legend of Winnie is too much to overcome. She’s moving on.
Topanga Lawrence vs. Amanda Beckett
Jennifer Love Hewitt was a huge 90’s star, but Amanda Beckett was no Topanga Lawrence. She’s eliminated!
Cher Horowitz vs. Rachel Green
Cher looks like she dressed up as Rachel Green for Halloween in this picture.
Anyway, while Cher is drop dead gorgeous, and even though both of them come from considerable means with uncomfortably angry fathers, Rachel gets the win for being a bit more level headed.
Kelly Kapowski vs. Buffy
Kelly was the Saved By The Bell dream girl, and Buffy had the added baggage of having to slaughter vampires on the regular, so Kelly moves into the semi’s.
SEMIFINALS
Winnie Cooper vs. Topanga Lawrence
Winnie got the decade started, and was probably at the top of the list for most of us between 1988-1993, but then TGIF rolled around. After a few very awkward years, Topanga became a common name heard at every recess conversation. Especially after that makeover episode where the producers of Boy Meets World couldn’t hide her good looks any longer.
This is a heavyweight matchup (even though they’re both tiny), but Topanga slays the giant in Winnie Cooper and moves onto the finals.
Rachel Green vs. Kelly Kapowski
Rachel is easily the funniest girl in this tournament, which is a major plus. She was such a beauty icon that she inspired about half the planet to copy her haircut, and she was a caring and thoughtful girlfriend when she wasn’t on a break.
Kelly, however, was the girl you wanted to take home to your family.
They were both captains of the cheerleading squad, but Kelly still squeezes out the victory and is into the finals.
FINALS
Topanga Lawrence vs. Kelly Kapowski
Topanga Lawrence
Topanga was from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and was the on and off lifetime girlfriend and wife of Cory Matthews.
Pros: Stunningly beautiful and equally as smart. She was a kind and caring girl who also had a no-nonsense tough side.
She was a huge weirdo in her earlier years at John Adams High which kept her grounded when she grew up and turned into a beautiful woman.
Amazing pictures of her hippy past with crimped hair that could be brought out at family occasions.
Cons: Very limited windows to date, likely some strange parents, might be moving to Pittsburgh.
Kelly Kapowski
Kelly was from Pacific Palisades, California and would frequently date Zack Morris and a guy named Jeff from the Max. She eventually married Zack.
Pros: Drop dead gorgeous, incredibly compassionate and driven to do the right thing.
Head cheerleader and captain of the volleyball, swim and softball teams.
Always enthusiastic, humble and doesn’t care about material goods.
Cons: 6 siblings, rarely single, cheated on Zack with Jeff.
Topanga Lawrence
Kelly was bordering on being the perfect girl. She was beautiful, kind and caring, but she did slip up when she cheated on Zack, and was always a bit naive.
Topanga never did and never would cheat on Cory. As far as appearances go, she was a 10/10, and she most certainly would never be a pushover.
Compassionate, beautiful and brilliant, Topanga is the best of the best.
Your champion – Topanaga Lawrence.
