Kimmy Gibbler vs. Wilson Wilson
Gibbler loved to show up uninvited and was disliked by 6 of the 10 members of the Tanner household. Of the remaining four, one of them was a dog, two more were twins who could barely speak, and the last was a reluctant best friend in DJ. Wilson cruises.
Cody Lambert vs. Kramer
Cody is batting out of his league with this group. He made an effort but to be honest, he was really just evening up the numbers. Kramer FTW.
Ned Flanders vs. Steve Urkel
Urkel was loveable, generous and endearing after years and years of getting to know him. He had a heart of gold and would do anything for the Winslow's, but he also caused thousands and thousands of dollars worth of damage to their house purely by being clumsy. Endearing or not, he is much too costly to have as a neighbour. Ned Flanders moves on.
Mr. Feeny vs. Jack McFarland
Jack is funnier than everyone else in this group not named Cosmo Kramer, but he would be exhausting to live next to and would wreak havoc on your self esteem. No contest here. Mr. Feeny is into the semi finals.
Wilson Wilson vs. Kramer
Kramer would keep your life interesting as a neighbour, but the negatives would eventually outweigh the positives. He'd be constantly borrowing things and showing up in your bed eating Kenny Roger's chicken. He is one of my all time favourite tv characters, but in real life he'd be a difficult person to live next door to. Wilson is into the finals.
Ned Flanders vs. Mr. Feeny
I never realized how similar Ned Flanders and Mr. Feeny look until I started typing this. Feeny looks like a human version of Ned with grey hair. It gets more eerie the longer I look at it. Flanders was really the ideal neighbour, but his inherent need to be so good results in him being obnoxious. You would think you're going over for nachos and you'd end up being served cucumbers with cottage cheese. Plus, you would have to endure Rod and Todd Flanders. Feeny to the finals.
This is a battle of the two wisest men in all of television. Wilson Wilson from Detroit, Michigan vs. Mr. Feeny from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Head To Head
Wilson had an unparalleled ability to reference historic philosophers and other wise men throughout history and apply them to the Taylor’s daily shenanigans. He kept to himself but was almost always available and seemed to perpetually be outside in his backyard.
Without Wilson, Jill likely would have divorced Tim within a couple of years. He was the glue that kept the Taylor family together.
He was quirky, for sure, but was a loving person that would be a wonderful neighbour.
Mr. Feeny was a legend. He served as a teacher for Corey, Eric, Topanga and Shawn, and later as Principal.
His teaching reached far beyond the classroom. Not only did he mould young minds in John Adams High, he also did so for the entire Matthews family from across the backyard fence.
He exercised patience when dealing with Corey and a very thick-headed Eric, but he also advised both Amy and Allen on their day to day lives and parenting techniques.
He clearly preferred solitude but was visibly present when anyone needed guidance or help.
This really could have gone either way. Wilson was a fantastic neighbour that anyone would be lucky to have, but Mr. Feeny was Mr. Feeny.
He wasn’t afraid to tell you the truth, but he would also stand by your side and help you while he did. He wanted to help, and knew when he needed to step in or when to let you learn a life lesson on your own.
He was a perennial teacher, no matter who he was teaching, and always found the right avenue to bring the very best out of a person.
Your champion: Mr. Feeny. MR. FEENY!!!